Planes, Trains and Auto mobiles John Hugh's directed my return to NY

[jaspamaster]

Finish returning Shibaricon equipment to riggermortis2's garage, this year load up and load out was relatively light.
In past years the event has had a lot of equipment pickups from distant places in the Chicago land area which would result in me having to do a heavy job of packing a truck full of big heavy and bulky frames bondage chairs and other borrowed items of steel and wood.
Last year this is just me Rev and riggermortis2 first year we had help from CiCi, Firefly and me being the Grip placing and lashing down all items and rearranging the truck so we can get where we need to and unload with out destroying the stuff.

Anyway unloading was uneventful this year though we did have to break into Rev's yard to drop off a frame there (Breaking into our own stuff seems to becoming a tradition) and then back to Shibaricon central to hang have some food decompress before carrying my bags the five long blocks to the Chicago transit to get to midway and fly home.

So the elevator and escalator at the stop were busted (Has been each time I am there) so had to heft my three bags up the stairs, this is heavy stuff a ton of luggage and my rope bag isn t in any way light even for me.

Once on top I had to wait and wait and wait and wait and well watching the time just zoom by as there was no train at all and i have a 6:30 boarding time on ATA and its now 15 to 6:00.
Finally a train wanders in and were off I am gonna make the flight no problems until lo and behold 2 stops from Midway after the train sits in the station for a real long time.
Conductor: Attention passengers this train is B.O. Broken it is out of service please exit the train there is one right behind this.
Did i mention this was a packed car did i mention that it had the look like a lot of people on the train has already missed a lot of trains that had not come.
We pile off and wait for the next train which comes after a nerve wracking few minutes, it was behind but just not that close and were off to midway again.

Entering midway i see the time is now almost a quarter after 6:00 and start a painful run with all bag's duffel swinging to get to the escalator hump across the causeway, run down the corridor through the car park round the corner to the elevator to take you to the check in.

Da da da da DA Deee da da da da DA doo da da de da da Do da da Deeeee Da da da da DA Deee da da da da DA doo da da de da da Do da da Deeeee Da da da da DA Deee da da da da DA doo da da de da da Do da da Deeeee, BING!!!! the elevator opens and I can get away from the horrid corridor elevator music eating the time away in my head as travel continues.

Dragging my duffel across the slippery airport floor i zoom to the check in where a very nice lady helps me label the bag and then i deposit them with our friendly invasive TSA lady to have them irradiated and loaded onto the plane.
Exulting int the lightness of only having the small knapsack and camera left to carry I run fast to the super long really far way TSA strip search to get into the area where my plane is waiting for me.

Oh yeah forgot to mention the time check its 6:31 and aren't you supposed to get there 2 hours in advance so you can avoid lines?
Jumping on the TSA line I strip putting the laptop in one tray my shoes in another my belt and the bag and the camera in a third and send them through the X-ray and wait in line to walk through the Goal posts of metal detection.
I am asked to step to the side and my hand and the Ace Bandage wrist brace are suspect since I didn't make the goal posts go BUZZZZZZZ!

I pass the test and the nice Mr underpaid TSA guy waves me through but I don't have time to dress I shove it all into my bag the belt the equipment and sling the camera and bag across my back and go into run mode holding my sneakers in one hand and feeling the damn concrete and linoleum through my socks.
Gate 26 is the LAST gate on that section ALL the way at the end, 4 people mover slideways and a left turn to get there.
As an aside I can actually recommend running on a metal people mover in your socks the steel treads kinda act like massage pokers on the bottoms of your feet, not for everyone I would say but certainly of note.

Gate 26 I am the Last person on board I am there I am happy I have the Exit seat the holy grail of being able to actually stretch your leg out for the entire flight and chill.

The plane leaves the terminal and were out on the parking pad waiting for take off the storm thats been brewing all day hits and the plane is deluged on the tarmac and suddenly the lights go out! major electrical failures of some kind and after a looooong pause the captain comes on to announce that there is a fault in the “APG” What the fuck is an APG and is it anything like a BFG? and were going to have to go back to the terminal to fix it and we will do so after all the planes in front of us on the waiting line have taken off.

About 45 minutes to an hour later we make it back to the terminal and we see all these mechanic running to the plane to do whatever to it as we sit and wait to see if we have to fly in our fixed plane or get moved to a happy sanitized for your protection working newer one.

So we sit and wait some people decide to get off the plan after an hour giving the rest of us a parting comment of we must be pretty brave to stay on this flight. I think we were on the plane for another hour before we it was announced we were ready for flight and that all the paper work was finished as well.
Back to the flight line and after about 7 planes ahead of us took of were were airborne.

Time to stretch out and relax enjoy the extra leg room and sleep and you would think it was all over but nope not to be.
Entering NYC airspace the Captain come on the PA to inform us that LGA has shut down due to Flight controllers orders and were heading to JFK and that an ATA rep will meet us to arrange travel to the city for us.
So we land and end up waiting another 20 minutes at the gate because we we haven't officially moved close enough and are 10 feet form actually having come to an official stop so were not allowed to unbuckle or use the cell phones.
As the music of all the cell phones on the cabin power up in a noisy fuck you to the captain people call home to let people know we still exist.

Walking threw the looong JFK corridors we finally get to baggage pickup where i am the only one to get his bags right away (Last on has its advantages.) and trundle on out to the lobby to find no ATA rep and no one who knows anything, ATA doesn't fly out of JFK so no one is there.
After much wandering and even harassing the pilots and crew as they leave we discover ATA has arranged only a shuttle to drive us to LGA if we want it.
I jump on and let it get me to LGA where I have wake Lori up on the cell and have her send a cab for me which arrive within minutes and is officially the fastest and most ontime thing to happen to me this nightmare of a trip.
3:30 am i finally arrive and have some food before passing out.

Good to be back in NYC missed it.

Comments

[mr_magicfingers]

Sounds like a nightmare trip. If we ever meet up IRL remind me to tell you about some of my flights in West Africa, they'll make your hair curl. The 3 day trip that should have taken 11 hours springs to mind. Glad you made it home safely in the end though, and hope Shibaricon was fun. One day I'll make it over there for the event.

J.

[innocent-irony.livejournal.com]

Glad you got back ok. Methinks my trip is gonig to be as bad, having checked weather expectations.
Did try to get ahold of you yesterday but it wouldn't connect;tried buzzing T, but no response there either. Ach well...

Holy shit

[donluisdelacosa.livejournal.com]

Balls of steel, junior. Balls of steel. I likely woulda been one of the ones who got off the plane. Sounds like you need a porter when you go on these trips.

Re: Holy shit

[misteropinion.livejournal.com]

A porter or a stout, or possibly a nice "real" IPA!

[smtigger.livejournal.com]

Luckily they now let you use cell phones the minute that the plane has landed. You can't stand up, but if your cell phone is with you, once the plane touches ground, you can be on it.

I am surprised you had to wake Lori to get a car home. In the future....
212-666-6666 and 212-777-7777 will always work (there are more, just don't remember them).

Glad you got home safely. I got stuck in Austin for a couple of hours due to storms.

[jaspamaster.livejournal.com]

Yeah was surprised myself the whole flight was screwy, I think the crew was either preety burned out at that point or just real nervous.

Thanks for the numbers but i hadent transfered the cab company number into the new phone so had to call lori and she made he call from home, out where we are we use a company called ecuador and they are the fastest out here.

When the dispatcher says they will be by in 10 to fifteen minutes and they always get there in about five minutes or less you have to like the service.

Storms were nasty this weekend we had thre the entire time I was in chicago and they were just biblical in scope but then gone as if they hadent been there.

Glad we all got home safe

[murasaki-teapot.livejournal.com]

i'm exhausted just reading that

[diekonigin.livejournal.com]

Actually, that's not the most horrible airline messes I've heard. It's just annoying. Having been there dozens of times in the past few years doing events practically every other weekend, I consider myself fortunate to have only missed one connection, and having been late about a half dozen times due to ground stops, weather, equipment issues, etc. Knock on wood, not even my baggage has been overtortured.

APG, I believe, has something to do with the radar system of the aircraft. Not having that work would be an issue, eh?

[jaspamaster.livejournal.com]

Murphy is exponential larger based ones trip frequency.
Wasnt going for the prize but yeesh, lori had a scary dream earlier in the week that I wasnt comeing back so that add'd to the WTF factor of it all.

APG is either radar or cabin pressure Air Presure Gauge, at least it wasnt the BFG we really need that for all the big scary monsters

[diekonigin.livejournal.com]

BFG = busted fuel gauge?
LOL

[jaspamaster.livejournal.com]

BFG= Big Fucking Gun
Acronym made famous by the computer game doom and others. You need the BFG to really really kill all the BEM's Think MIB on steroids

[miss-jaded.livejournal.com]

Glad you're home safe. Should've known you were DOOMED from the rate of the flight's into Chicago, at the beginning of the weekend. hehe.

And yes, Chicago's public transit sucks. I've had the worst luck lately, similar to yours with the Orange line.

I want to make a trip to NY before next May.

[secretarydiana.livejournal.com]

Wow! Seems no one is being properly rewarded by life for making this weekend so great for so many people. Glad you made it home and things are normal again. *hugs*