jaspamaster: (Me 70's-80's)
Back in my years as a Camera assitant i I worked on A really horrible production “ Better than ever”, Joey Buttafuoco backed and also starred in as the friendly cab driver Ralph. To give you an idea how bad this production was we ended up having to hold about 2 weeks worth of negative hostage in order to get our last paychecks
Not to mention having one AD after another fired or just quiting becasue of how jackass the production was.

Thea special effects guy on this film has to have been the most dangerous armorer I had ever encountered. This pinhead fired off a Magnum Desert Eagle loaded with blanks for the director with out warning the crew about a live gun on set or even having the decency to yell the traditional “fire in the hole”.
Luckily for cast and crew the only thing this moron actually hit anyone with was a brain splatter effect from an air ram while testing it Didn’t bother to notice which way it was pointing and shot the AC I usually worked for from across the clearing with about a pound of bloody goop makeup.

At that point I had allready worked on some GunFu films specifically ”Guns Of Dragon” with Rick Washburn as our NY Weapons coordinator, who really taught me proper on set gun etiquette. We had guns blazing in almost every scene dozens of automatic and semi automatic weapons on set without one single accident and no breaches in protocol you knew when the guns were hot and when they were cold.

I have never felt so nervous in my life around guns after the twit fired the Eagle off

The DP just asked me one sunny afternoon after we had just gotten a bullshit speech during lunch about how everyones checks were on the way if all the negative was in the AC’s trunk, I just grinned said yes! and a couple of hours after we left the set had all the cans stashed in my freezer.
The production had no idea where the cans had gone or who had them.

After a week or so of some hairy negotiation with our AD doing a very good job of acting as the crews mouth piece well got paid off at last my envelope was for just under a $1000 and the producer/director had the balls to ask me for change of a 100 dollar bill so he could pay me while we were standing in the stairwell of CECO on 15th street.

I was lucky the little bodega diner on the street had change.

This memory resurfaced a few days ago after a friend of mine sent me a torrent of the home sex movies made by Amy fisher Joeys love bunny who shot joeys wife in the face.
The moves are absolutely horrible making amateur porn look positively high budget and Amy now sports the worst and yet so “long island” italian floozy boob job you’ve ever seen, were talking high and hard and one size to big.
Sadly I can see what Joey saw in her!

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jaspamaster

September 2009

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